Thoughts (again)

I said I was starting YouTube so I filmed a video and posted it, then decided that I actually hated it. I haven’t deleted it yet but I am thinking about it. I don’t know if it’s because I’m just not comfortable in front of the camera or if it’s because I just feel like I will never have the content exactly how I want, but either way I’m not satisfied. I’m a bit of a perfectionist and I’m definitely uber critical of myself. I can always do slightly better in my mind, even if I do a really good job to begin with.

I have a couple of ideas for videos I want to film actually and I’m planning them out. I don’t know if it is even worth doing though. Will anybody watch them? Will I be happy to say they’re mine and share them with my peers? We shall see. I need to get a better camera to film stuff on. I used to have a digital camera at home but I have searched my entire apartment and it is nowhere to be found. Strange. For now I will have to stick to my phone which means it will never be anywhere near as polished as I want it to be.

Also completely unrelated but I made a Depop account. I’ve always heard about people shopping on there but I’ve never actually tried it myself. I think it could be fun though. I listed a few items today so if you want to check it out feel free! @evegardiner 

That’s just what was on my mind today. Come back again soon and hopefully I will have figured things out in a much more clear direction!

Eve Gardiner is the founder and content creator behind


  1. Girl, dont worry, it makes sense to feel anxious! I felt the same way when I posted my first blog post! And props to you for starting a youtube channel, Ive been wanting to do that for years but I just never felt ready, so I admire that about you!! xx

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